Dear readers/listeners, I was so excited to tell you that you can look forward to an upcoming episode of Knitting with Joy on KQAD (still "The place for rock in the Quad Cities"). My uncle Neil said that his long-in-coming plan to bring a Krispy Kreme to town were looking good (I don't know how--he hasn't had a job in three years; he must really be squirreling away those unemployment checks). He guaranteed he would sponsor my program seeing how anyone who is still awake at 3 am is either looking for "the Kreme" to soak up some booze or is a cop (not sure why that profession was singled out; as a radio professional, I like doughnuts, too).
So things were looking up. I was practicing the complicated and controversial Japanese Short Row. I was sucking on lozenges every night to keep my cords lubricated. I even bought a new outfit at Riches Not Rags (not that you listeners would be able to tell).
Then the phone rang. Guess who? Mother Crammer, that's who. She shouts into the receiver, "I think I have the Mexican wine flu! Deb Mathers made us all drink a shot of Jose Cuervo to celebrate her 60th birthday--now I'm infected!"/Me: "Mother, first of all you don't drink wine as shots except at church. Second, it's SWINE flu."/Mother (after a LONG pause): "Well, we had the pork carnitas, too. That's how I got it, I'm sure. Get over her right now and take a look at my bowel movement, and you tell me I didn't catch something at Mickey's Authentic Mexican!"
Anyway, Mother is convinced she's carrying the virus and has covered all of her furniture in Saran Wrap and sprays Glade everywhere (the scent is a nice change from the usual smell of her dog Rufus). And guess who her nursemaid is as she fights off this scourge? Moi. As you can tell by now, the re-launch of the show will be delayed once again. In the meantime, get on down to Nuts for You for your doughnut fix so that your tummy is primed once Uncle Neil's Krispy Kreme is up and running (date TBD).
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