Halloo, Lollipopcicles! It's Mary still filling in while Joy is with her mom (nobody anywhere in the world has swine flu any more, Mrs. Crammer--get over yourself).
A week ago, I called for any and all questions from Joy's merry band of listeners/readers. What a disappointment! I didn't get one question that wasn't "crupid" (my little abbreviation that combines "crude" and "stupid"). The scent of my unmentionables is not for public knowledge (though if you must know, I use All-Temperature Cheer to make sure they're always fresh). What a snooze to go through all of those e-mails. I expected more of you, Quad Cities!
So in the interest of maintaining Joy's dedicated following, I will ask a question myself, one that's been burning in everyone's mind but no one is brave enough to ask (except for me!): Is Mrs. Crammer too involved in Joy's life?
I say "guilty as charged!" To trade my judge's robe for my lawyer's hat, let me make the case. When I invited myself over to Joy's apartment for Christmas week, Mrs. Crammer called at least twice a day (and usually only to see what Joy was eating!). When I gave Joy a framed portrait photograph of myself on Christmas Day, Mrs. Crammer (of course she had to be there) was sure to put it on the top shelf behind a photo of Joy's uncle Paul gutting a deer. And then on New Year's Eve when I gave Joy a smooch on the cheek at the first stroke of midnight to celebrate the occasion, Mrs. Meddling...I mean, Crammer (naturally she tagged along to Club 563 in Davenport) separated us faster than Miriam Tegels can knit. Now I know why you're on Xanax, Joy Beulah (medicine cabinets are fair game where I come from)!!!
I for one believe that Joy would be much better off moving away from her mom. There must be plenty of other places to live--and in peace! In fact, I have the cutest spare bedroom decorated with all of the rugs, afghans, and cozies I've knitted over the years. Joy could stay for as long as she wants (or longer). Come on, all you Joy-sketeers! Let her know it's time to step out of Mother Crammer's shadow (I'd create an online petition if I only knew how).
That's all for today, unless I think of another reason Mrs. Crammer is ruining Joy's life. Cheers!
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